Back To School
January 10, 2025
A Listening Heart
Dear Nieces and Nephews,
The Abundant Life students are heading back to school today after three-plus weeks of grieving, healing and re-orienting since the shooting on December 16. Thousands of people have come alongside them through prayer, fasting, trauma research, notes of encouragement, providing meals and even eating at Culvers and Texas Roadhouse to raise funds.
Are they ready?
Dear Heavenly Father, please send a fresh wave of your Spirit into the hearts of the students, teachers and support staff as they take this next big step today. Meet them in their pain and lead them forward. Help them to know and feel your safety. Remind us all to keep praying through this Challenging day. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen.
God has me
going back to school today too.
Awhile back, someone I love was running away from me. I searched, chased, found, caught, rebuilt, loved and repeated for several months. I faced insults that sent me into new training grounds. Through this season, I learned a lot about letting hurtful words roll off me while searching for their root cause. Eventually, with no truth in them and a much humbler heart, there was nothing left for them to stick to.
Except for one. I didn’t think it was true until its stinger stuck and wouldn’t let go:
“You don’t know how to listen.”
“WHAT? I am always
listening! I ask questions. Then I wait in silence. What else can I DO?” That argument thrived in my brain for a few months.
Eventually my heart softened and an Aha! moment hit: My offended mind
wasn’t letting my heart
listen.
Listening is different from hearing. Listening means “To pay attention, especially through the act of hearing.” Paying attention is the core of the definition. Hearing is secondary.
Our loved ones are often silent.
God is often silent.
But we can still listen. It might require going deeper than questions, when we don’t even know what to ask. It might also require hearing rantings and ravings which don’t match the grieving heart underneath.
Above all, pay attention. This is the school God is sending me back to today.
There is another one who is insulting me now. It just re-started two days ago. I thought I already passed this test. Maybe it’s semester exams? I want to pass. Right away, without another long, painful process.
Nieces and nephews, your age range spans decades. Allow me to separate you into groups for a moment.
To you older ones:
Our youngers, as a whole, live in a world darker than we can fathom. They face addiction to unfiltered darkness and all its rippling effects, and are living smack in the middle of what we only hear about. They are surrounded by the enemy’s lies, and have internalized a lot of them through both choice AND innocently breathing in the polluted atmosphere around them.
They need us.
But much more than our storehouses of wisdom, they need our ears. And our encouragement to listen to the heart of the Holy Spirit for themselves. He is their ever-present help in times of trouble. They need us
because they need Him, and we can point the way.
The biggest moves of God we’ve had at camp have not come because of adult-led teaching, worship or altar calls. Rather, they’ve come when we’ve convinced kids to listen to the Holy Spirit and we’ve given them space to do so. Then, as we ride the waves of revelation with them, listening to what they
are hearing, seeing and feeling, we see the supernatural take over. It’s only from this place that light breaks through with its healing, freedom and revival.
I believe the voice of the prophets which has repeatedly said kids will be at the heart of the coming revival. Let’s make room for it! They’ve got the desperation. Now they just need a personal encounter with The Answer.
To you younger ones:
Please search until you find the heart of us olders. It’s true we’re not always right. We don’t know everything and aren’t perfect. But our hearts are for you. Even though God does speak to you directly, you need our encouragement, nurturing and wisdom because He speaks to us too and we've been around awhile.
To everyone:
When Elijah got afraid and so desperately needed encouragement, exaggerating his problems, running and feeling sorry for himself, he finally found God in the “sound of sheer silence” (I Kings 19:12, New Revised Standard Version). Not in the windstorm, earthquake, fire, or shattering rocks which were trying to cover it up with their misleading distraction.
This is a realm I want to get comfortable living from. There is a sound emanating from the silence in our loved ones’ hearts, and from their storms. Will you listen there with me?
Let’s go back to school together. It’s not a bad place, just a hard place. Learning is hard. But God is meeting us at the door and will be with us through the day.
All my love,
Aunt Michelle
Dear Nieces & Nephews, I haven’t written in a while. It’s not because I’ve thought of you less, but because the thoughts haven’t been clear enough to express. So maybe it’s a time for asking questions instead. How are you? Is your summer ready to hit full-swing? Do you have plans for deep soul-rest mixed into your bucket list? Does this list reflect your heart’s desires, or just the “summer shoulds” that swirl around our culture? Or the demands of your people? Are you giving extravagantly to them, while still letting them exercise their “NO" muscles? Are you exercising your “NO" muscle? Speaking of which, here’s a question about me: Do I teach too much about grace, and not enough about consequences? Probably. I hope that where I have, God will bring balance. He promises to be our Teacher. So maybe I can take the pressure off and realize I only carry a small piece of what He’s saying, and that’s OK. I’m not making or breaking anyone’s life. How about you? Are you putting too much pressure on yourself to be more than you are or to have more than is yours? If so, here are two wonderful terrible thoughts to remember: It’s not about me. ( Whew) I’m not God and am no one's savior. ( Double whew) Some of you have asked how you can help me through this season. I didn’t know until Shannon asked me at church this morning. Mid-answer, it became clear to me: Don't be afraid to look me in the eye. Tell me what’s happening in your life. Show me the world is bigger than the problem trying to block my view. Remind me that I’m still me, and tough things happening don’t change who I am. I'm still just plain ol' yours truly, Aunt Michelle
Let God Handle The Heavy Stuff
Dear Nieces & Nephews, Images of you have been filling my mind this morning. You’re going through so much. I want to be with you in it. But lives have put physical distance between us, along with the invisible barriers that come with full homes and schedules ... only to be crossed at special events and chance encounters at Costco. I sure do want this to change. Being with each other really is a very big deal. It’s the substance of relationship. Jesus wanted his disciples with him when he was entering his darkest hour. He brought them to Gethsemane with him. When he told them he was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow to the point of death (pretty vulnerable), it’s remarkable that they fell asleep on him. It’s not like He had a victim mentality and talked that way all the time. “I want someone with me in my pain,” is central to the human heart, and I believe mirrors God’s. Yet how often do we sleep through our loved ones’ pain? Or defend ourselves in it? Or analyze it? Or devalue it by trying to rationalize it away? Yesterday was the portion of Resurrection Weekend that experiences Jesus’ pain with him, that watches and prays with him, that doesn’t try to explain anything away or fix anything, but just stays with Him. I'm going to give it another day. What does that MEAN for me today, Lord? What does it LOOK like? Watch and pray f or WHAT? There are no soldiers for me to watch for. Perhaps I am just to watch. ??? Why is this so hard? I want to know what to watch for. And I want to know what to do when I see it. But you haven’t told me that yet. And if I try to prepare for it, I’ll bring along a sword and cut off someone’s ear, or something equally rash. JUST WATCH. AND PRAY. AND BE WITH HIM. Be with Him in His pain. Be with my family members in their pain. Don’t try to fix anything. Don’t defend myself. Don’t analyze it or assign blame. JUST WATCH. AND PRAY. AND BE WITH THEM. And remember. I didn’t prepare for this at all, but I’m going to set up our kitchen island with the closest thing I have to bread and wine, and serve a day-long communion. I'm going to remember what my Savior did for me as I watch and pray, and invite Uncle Kerry and your cousins to do it with me. And I'll be remembering YOU, my nieces and nephews. Maybe I can’t be with you, but I remember you. I am praying for you. And I am watching for any points of reconnection. All my love, Aunt Michelle
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