What Do You WANT?
Christmas Mountain
Dear Nieces & Nephews,
You’re always on my mind. I’m hoping that with the approaching holidays and Camp Fire gatherings (more on this later), I will see you in person soon. In the meantime, here’s to writing again!
I was part of a mom-care panel a couple weeks ago, sharing with homeschool moms some of my triumphs and failures in caring for myself while caring for children. The next day, while that was still on my mind, Aunt Marian called to offer me a week’s stay in a cottage at Christmas Mountain in The Dells because of a last-minute cancellation.
I accepted, and God took such good care of me there! I decided what mom-care ultimately means is letting Him care for me, and cooperating as He directs me to assist. We moms would call that “obedience.”
A good friend told me recently, “Michelle, if I was God, I’d give you an A+ for effort and a D- for results. But that’s not how God grades us. He grades us on our obedience. Some plant, some water, but it’s God who provides the increase. Just keep doing what He tells you to do.”
OK.
I can do that.
I’m actually really good at obeying. I mean, I can put my nose to the grindstone, grit my teeth and plow as only a mule can.
I’d make a really good mule.
I’m not so sure mules are happy though. Our Midnight is, but … well … she’s never worked a day in her life and knows nothing about obedience.
God talked to me in The Dells about pursuing my desires, which are often a missing ingredient in my obedience. About defining and embracing the things that ignite my heart with joy, satisfaction and laughter. And letting myself off the hook with all the D minuses.
“What do you WANT to do?” seemed to come up a lot.
I want to eat chocolate, of course, but that never ends well. It’s too flesh-fixated. I need to separate out my realms so I don’t throw my baby out with the bathwater, because my heart-desires are God-created treasure. They’re worth searching for.
On Tuesday, I ran to the Dells St. Vinny’s to look for something Sanae needed. It wasn’t there, but there was a dinnerware set just like I had on my bridal registry in ’89. (Uncle Kerry and I were never able to build beyond ten sets because it was discontinued right after our wedding.) I looked at it longingly for a minute, then I walked away. I circled back and looked at it again. Twice. Then I left. As I was driving I asked, “God, did You want me to get that dinnerware set?”
“Do YOU want to get it?”
“I don’t know. Would I USE it?”
“Do you WANT to use it?”
I realized I did. Grandma Nancy always hosted dinners with glassware and candles, and I started out as a starry-eyed young wife doing the same. But the grit of life had turned me into a paper plates sort of hostess.
Then I thought of our “Wildfire” gatherings, and realized it was just the group I wanted to treat special. Like family. With glassware. So I drove back and bought that set of dishes.
The next morning I awoke early to the words, “Meet me at the summit.” I wasn’t going to risk missing a God-invite, so I headed to the top of “Christmas Mountain” (a ski hill) in time for sunrise.
While I was catching my breath and snapping pictures, my mind was busy formulating an opinion about God’s blessings always being gradual, not sudden.
“Miracles are sudden,” dropped into my heart and crowded out all the other thoughts.
“I haven’t experienced those yet.”
“Do you WANT to?”
Um.
I thought that was obvious. But I let the question linger as I sat and wondered why God might have wanted to meet me at the summit.
The fall wind was stiff and it wasn’t long before I had visions of a warm blanket and breakfast. I stood and looked around to choose my route down. Ski runs branched out in different directions, ranging in steepness. I looked at the one with the biggest drop-off and said to myself, “That one’s too sudden. I’d probably slip on the wet grass.”
Then the Aha! moment came as my thoughts converged.
I have a choice about the sudden. Sudden carries risk. Miracles carry risk. And sometimes sacrifice. (Fasting, anyone?)
Do I WANT that?
“Yes God. I want to experience the sudden.”
I chose the steepest ski run and headed down it to show Him I meant it. Oh, and I skipped that breakfast I was longing for. But not the blanket.
***
There are a few new layers of darkness in my life. It seems darkness just keeps getting darker, and turning it off hasn’t been working. But turning on the Light has. Light dispels darkness. I ask God all the time what light is supposed to look like in the moment. Most often the answer is something like:
“Connect with Me. Connect with that person in front of you.”
Love God. Love others.
I love God when I give Him my attention and response as often as I can remember. I love people when I do the same, offering words of life, Truth, affirmation and encouragement.
It’s simple Geometry. I reach out to God with one hand, others with the other, and let a hypotenuse form that connects them to each other in a beautiful triangle that holds so much appeal when it's formed by obedience that is enjoyed.
“Wildfire” has been born to Camp Fire Ministries as a gathering of Gen Z (starting with Age 13) to stretch minds and imaginations in connecting the world with Jesus. It’s a time of sitting together with Him while He works it into hearts. Of eating together with candles and glass dinnerware. Our next is Sunday afternoon, November 23, 3-6 pm. Let me know if you can come!
So how about you? Are you living your longings, or are they still buried like hidden treasure in your heart? Can you find a few moments each day to meet God at whatever “summit” He invites you to? To seek him, listen and obey His promptings?
Do you WANT to?
I sure hope so! It’s beyond worth it.
All My Love,
Aunt Michelle
Share On: