Dear Nieces & Nephews, Did you know that rules stimulate the desire to break them? It says so right in Romans 7:5. “For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death.” Bingo. The source of all my parenting woes! The law. Rules. What’s a parent to do? Get rid of rules? “By no means!” to use Paul’s phrase. Jesus didn’t come to get rid of the law, but to fulfill it. So if I’m to follow His parenting example, I don’t get RID of our rules, I fulfill them. What?! What in Heaven does THAT mean in the heat of battle? I wish I could give a clear, concise answer, but all I have is hints that I’m collecting in a bucket. Do you care to join me? If not, skip the next twelve paragraphs and jump back in where I tell you Lexi’s inspiring story. This is what I've got in the bucket so far: Rules, like “The Law” of the Old Testament, reveal the existence of naughtiness. Without them, we wouldn’t even know what's naughty. We need them. The problem is, as stated above, they also stimulate a desire to break them. Which leads to pain. (Keep reading Romans 7-8. It paints quite a picture.) If God provided a way out of this pain with sacrifice born out of deep love (dying on the cross), maybe we can do the same for our kids. “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you,” with natural consequences we neither rescue them from, nor remove ourselves from. We’re still there, with them as they suffer. Yes, we suffer too. Ugh! Maybe God-inspired deep-love-sacrifice releases our kids from the tyranny of forbidden-fruit-infatuation and sets them free to live in a new way, deeply rooted in connection instead of rules. Eventually. In a slow progression of their minds learning to choose Spirit ways over sinful nature ways. One small painful step at a time. While we parents have absolutely no control over which way they choose. One of my dear ones stashed every forbidden candy box and wrapper ever collected in their dresser during my ongoing war against sugar in our home.

Dear Nieces & Nephews, You’re always on my mind. I’m hoping that with the approaching holidays and Camp Fire gatherings (more on this later), I will see you in person soon. In the meantime, here’s to writing again! I was part of a mom-care panel a couple weeks ago, sharing with homeschool moms some of my triumphs and failures in caring for myself while caring for children. The next day, while that was still on my mind, Aunt Marian called to offer me a week’s stay in a cottage at Christmas Mountain in The Dells because of a last-minute cancellation. I accepted, and God took such good care of me there! I decided what mom-care ultimately means is letting Him care for me, and cooperating as He directs me to assist. We moms would call that “obedience.” A good friend told me recently, “Michelle, if I was God, I’d give you an A+ for effort and a D- for results. But that’s not how God grades us. He grades us on our obedience. Some plant, some water, but it’s God who provides the increase. Just keep doing what He tells you to do.” OK. I can do that. I’m actually really good at obeying. I mean, I can put my nose to the grindstone, grit my teeth and plow as only a mule can. I’d make a really good mule. I’m not so sure mules are happy though. Our Midnight is, but … well … she’s never worked a day in her life and knows nothing about obedience.