Dear Nieces & Nephews, Did you know that rules stimulate the desire to break them? It says so right in Romans 7:5. “For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death.” Bingo. The source of all my parenting woes! The law. Rules. What’s a parent to do? Get rid of rules? “By no means!” to use Paul’s phrase. Jesus didn’t come to get rid of the law, but to fulfill it. So if I’m to follow His parenting example, I don’t get RID of our rules, I fulfill them. What?! What in Heaven does THAT mean in the heat of battle? I wish I could give a clear, concise answer, but all I have is hints that I’m collecting in a bucket. Do you care to join me? If not, skip the next twelve paragraphs and jump back in where I tell you Lexie’s inspiring story. This is what I've got in the bucket so far: Rules, like “The Law” of the Old Testament, reveal the existence of naughtiness. Without them, we wouldn’t even know what's naughty. We need them. The problem is, they also stimulate a desire to break them. Which leads to pain. (Keep reading Romans 7-8. It paints quite a picture.) If God provided a way out of this pain with sacrifice born out of deep love (dying on the cross), maybe we can do the same for our kids so they can experience it first in the natural realm. “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you,” with natural consequences we neither rescue them from, nor remove ourselves from. We’re still there, with them as they suffer. Yes, we suffer too. Ugh! But with the kind of suffering that brings joy. Maybe God-inspired deep-love-sacrifice releases our kids from the tyranny of forbidden-fruit-infatuation and sets them free to live in a new way, deeply rooted in connection instead of rules. Because our connection to them pulls them into our connection with Christ , facilitating their connection to Christ , which sets them free from sin and changes their whole mindset. Eventually. In a slow progression of their minds learning to choose Spirit ways over sinful nature ways. One small painful step at a time. While we parents have absolutely no control over which way they choose. One of my dear ones stashed every forbidden candy box and wrapper ever collected in their dresser during my ongoing war against sugar in our home.

Dear Nephew, What do you want for your birthday? Like really, really want , so deep down you’re afraid even to say it? I feel like God’s waiting for you to say it. He knows what you want, He just wants to make sure you know what you want. So say it. Then hold onto it with all that tenacity you’re famous for, until you see Him bring it about. He put your deep desires in you for a reason. It’s been a painful process of sorting it out from the surface wants that are so fleeting and even damaging. When I used to take you all shopping and you got to choose something you wanted, the other kids would quickly grab something off the shelf. But for you, it would become such a process. You were so worried you were going to choose the wrong thing and be disappointed. These past few years, you have had many disappointments. From rejections of your love, to devastating breakdowns, to friendships not working out, and then all these health problems. Disappointment times infinity. I believe it’s been a process of sifting in your heart that has been so painful you don’t know what to do with it. I hate to watch it. I hate to see your pain. I think breakthrough is right ahead of you. It’s probably not going to look like you expect it to, but I think it will look many times better. Above all you could ask, think or imagine. Because God’s goodness is infinite. Where it looks like He has forsaken you and let you down, He’s just not coming through in the small things because He needs you to let them go so you can grab hold of the big things He’s offering you. There is so much champion in you. So much skill. Such refreshing wit. Such a winning smile. Such a blend of tenacity and tenderness. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. How relieved that we are still close. I want to team with you for whatever is ahead. I love you from the bottom of my heart, Aunt Michelle