Dear Nieces & Nephews, Images of you have been filling my mind this morning. You’re going through so much. I want to be with you in it. But lives have put physical distance between us, along with the invisible barriers that come with full homes and schedules ... only to be crossed at special events and chance encounters at Costco. I sure do want this to change. Being with each other really is a very big deal. It’s the substance of relationship. Jesus wanted his disciples with him when he was entering his darkest hour. He brought them to Gethsemane with him. When he told them he was overwhelmed with grief and sorrow to the point of death (pretty vulnerable), it’s remarkable that they fell asleep on him. It’s not like He had a victim mentality and talked that way all the time. “I want someone with me in my pain,” is central to the human heart, and I believe mirrors God’s. Yet how often do we sleep through our loved ones’ pain? Or defend ourselves in it? Or analyze it? Or devalue it by trying to rationalize it away? Yesterday was the portion of Resurrection Weekend that experiences Jesus’ pain with him, that watches and prays with him, that doesn’t try to explain anything away or fix anything, but just stays with Him. I'm going to give it another day. What does that MEAN for me today, Lord? What does it LOOK like? Watch and pray f or WHAT? There are no soldiers for me to watch for. Perhaps I am just to watch. ??? Why is this so hard? I want to know what to watch for. And I want to know what to do when I see it. But you haven’t told me that yet. And if I try to prepare for it, I’ll bring along a sword and cut off someone’s ear, or something equally rash. JUST WATCH. AND PRAY. AND BE WITH HIM. Be with Him in His pain. Be with my family members in their pain. Don’t try to fix anything. Don’t defend myself. Don’t analyze it or assign blame. JUST WATCH. AND PRAY. AND BE WITH THEM. And remember. I didn’t prepare for this at all, but I’m going to set up our kitchen island with the closest thing I have to bread and wine, and serve a day-long communion. I'm going to remember what my Savior did for me as I watch and pray, and invite Uncle Kerry and your cousins to do it with me. And I'll be remembering YOU, my nieces and nephews. Maybe I can’t be with you, but I remember you. I am praying for you. And I am watching for any points of reconnection. All my love, Aunt Michelle

Dear Nieces & Nephews, We moms put a lot of thought into making sure our kids know enough. Especially when we’re homeschooling, it can become all-consuming. Everything runs through the filter of, “Do my kids need to know this?” or, “How can I help them understand that?” “Will they survive without knowing that thing they have no interest in?” becomes more prevalent as they get into their upper high school years. We know their bents and their battles and choose carefully. Frankly, we'd all do well to apply the same strategy. Maybe it’s time we slacken the line of fear over all we don’t know, and just embrace what life is teaching us in the moment. Especially the hard things. Go ahead and marinate. It’s a lot more effective than a thousand pings of slight recognition from a text book. Thaddeus and Kieran have taught me more about learning from the nitty gritty of life than anyone else. I used to call them our “Dopternal Twins” (twins through adoption). With just two months separating them, they became a formidable duo that took the world by storm the day they locked eyes in parallel play and discovered that combining forces could triple the noise and excitement. Synergy. For some reason, they decided early-on the same thing Uncle Terry used to tell me growing up: That everything I know is wrong. Until proven right. Or at least interesting. This made for an interesting dynamic in our homeschool. They learned to read standing on their heads off the back of the couch. Every subject was made as tangible as possible, and stories were woven into everything ... along with lots and lots of life. We began each day with FPT (Family Project Time), ran our home businesses together, and hosted streams of people and events. When the boys were in 5th Grade, we discovered the Madison Area Home Schoolers basketball team. The first time I saw them play on a team, I wept tears of relief as I saw the good that could come out of their dynamic synergy. Not only were they quick, intense and skillful, they also had the kind of connection that left onlookers breathless, passing the ball blind to each other with uncanny precision. Now they’re 18. Graduation is right around the corner. Life has taken a lot of turns and they’re on different paths. They are still learning some things academically, but mostly we are amazed at what life is teaching them. It’s slow and hard and painful, but so much more effective than books full of random facts. Whenever we see them embrace life, we rejoice. Three flat tires in a month? Wow, is he getting good at changing tires! A friend taking advantage of him? He's figuring out the balance of boundaries and forgiveness. Two parking tickets for the same infraction? (Turns out City of Madison and UW Madison parking enforcements have overlapping jurisdiction during state basketball tournaments.) A whole load of life going on in this one! You get the idea. Yes, life can be painful but it’s such a good teacher. I wonder what it’s teaching you today? Embrace it! Love, Aunt Michelle